Resonant Cavity

Recycling code

2006-02-18T11:45:00.000-06:00

After so many years, I think I have really understood what code reusability really is. And looking back, I realize that much of what I have written is not reusable in the full sense of the word. Of course, the root finding modules I wrote a year ago will still fit well into whatever I am going to write, say, next week. But, unlike the combustion chemistry modules that I wrote last semester, will they be able to just slip into any new code that needs it. Will it be a blind, snug fit. I will be able to plug-and-call the code. But will I be able to really just plug-and-let call the code? True reusability is when old can call the new, with blind confidence and no knowledge of the new. And how much of what I have written is like that? Not much, I realize. Little, very painfully little. On a better note, I realize with joy that I am learning. And that is all that matters.

Should decisions always be boolean?

2006-02-13T18:57:00.000-06:00

My last post was 3.5 months ago. And these 3.5 months have been a whirlwind. A whirlwind that could have gone so many other ways than it actually has gone / is going. Delirious highs and gut-wrenching lows. A trip back home. And other momentous decisons that have to be called undercurrents only because they are not visible.

Decisions that make me wish I were an ostrich. I would greatly appreciate the ability to bury my head in the sand. If only to be able to avoid these decisions. What kind of a decision is it when you have to choose between your right leg or your left. Whats to guide you in making the right decision?

I wish this were an anonymous blog. I then would not have to think thrice about writing more. Anywayz, this talking in riddles goes perfectly well with the tone of my earlier posts. Hope to be writing again. Also hope that at least the new post is longer and better. :p

Note: For those of you who think I need a shrink ... Dont worry, I am perfectly fine.

was God Object-Oriented?

2005-10-22T12:25:00.000-05:00

It seems ridiculously easy to abstract from a discussion on object-oriented design to higher philosophy. You're intently discussing some issue on how to design your model, and then you suddenly start seeing design parallels in nature, social structure and what not! But I guess its all because I am an empty vessel. All you software geeks out there, please bear with an ignorant soul.

Where does my time go?

2005-10-21T16:28:00.000-05:00

Some people write blogs, shoot pictures. Others, complete their work, fight deadlines. Still others play, go to the gym, watch movies. Some sleep and eat. Some hang out with friends. But I seem to be doing none of these. Repeat, not one of these.

I don't have major deadlines at work.. Nor do I use my time constructively or destructively. Where does all my time go? How do I manage to live a life that eats up all the time just for daily overhead. I just get up, go to the department, come back, have food and sleep. Note, nothing else between these events. There's an action-void between these. Just get up, then go to the department. Then come back, having done NOTHING. Eat. Sleep. And not too much of sleep too. Not any 16-hour marathon session or something. I wonder what really happens to my time. Why does my life proceed in a blurry daze like this. This is seriously something of concern.

Unstable Equilibrium

2005-10-07T17:34:00.000-05:00

Continuing in the same tone as the previous post (i mean the brusque, not-offering-explanations kind of tone) ... Do you people know how unstable equilibrium feels? But then, maybe Ill explain later...

Music is Magic

2005-09-28T00:57:00.000-05:00

Music is Magic ... i thought i should let the world in on this big secret :p

Penn Vidudhalai

2005-09-02T01:46:00.000-05:00

Sujatha recently posted about the idiosyncrasies of the typical Indian, unforward-middle-class, arranged marriages. A frustrated outpouring. Much of her post made agreeable reading, till I reached the very last line. And there she dropped a word that, the more I thought of, the more I felt shouldnt have been there. I left my response in a comment but am also cross-posting it here.

"Penn vidudhalai oru kanavu". Though i see the point in much of your post, i feel that last one is downright pessimistic. Speak about rigid, blinkered practices and i can understand. But please do not, being so privileged enough to be blogging abt this, mix "penn vidudhalai" with just the right to choosing one's partner.

Penn vidudhalai is still a lot about some very fundamental things that we take for granted. Like the right to be born. The right to live. The right to be treated as a human and not as a commodity. The right to be given a basic education. The right to enjoy the pleasures of a childhood instead of being burdened with household chores and the care of siblings. The right to voice an opinion and be heard and treated as someone of consequence. Penn vidudhalai is a strong term. And it is still a dream in many places, but a very achievable dream.

Though the term still sounds so sacred and righteous in Tamil, it translates to the much more frightening, cliched, over-used, mis-used, exploited Women's Lib in english. Something that conjures up in my mind, images of a pack of hungry tigresses tearing me apart :) Eh, ummm... he he. ... hmmmm ... (already weak at the knees) ... cough ... ahem. that was my attempt at humor,... he he. u do see it, dont you. i really meant a group of very shrill ... i mean loud ... no, no.. audible ,, women (or am i supposed to say differently-abled-men? :D ) that fight and ... hmmm ,,, raise their voices for extremely just reasons. aint it so. i.. i .. just get a li'l befuddled at this time. i really ought to go sleep, you know. so mademoiselles, please dont take anything to heart ,,, i am all for women's lib. :D

Let the world change you ...

2005-08-27T23:56:00.000-05:00

I was reading through my daily harvest of blog feeds, when I came across this review of 'The Motorcycle Diaries' by Samanth. And that triggered the sudden yearning for the haunting music that the movie has been set to. Truly amazing pieces. I've watched the movie thrice (something that I never, ever do), and listened to the background score scores of times. The music reflects the way the movie has been made. Soft, subtle, yet packed with emotion. Both leave lingering imprints on your mind. There was a time a few months back when my craze for the music bordered on addiction. It was, to me, like anybody's daily cup of coffee. Then suddenly, one day, I stopped listening to it... forgot about it. Today, when I read the review, I discovered that the craving had only been simmering beneath the surface. Discovered to my delight that, despite the obvious overdose, the spanish was not cloying but still enchantingly sweet. Lyrical syllables flowing together yet so distinct in the way each of them titillate the ear. I was reminded of the way Tolkien described the elven tongue. How he spoke of the elf song. So as I sit enthralled by the strains of 'Al otro lado del rio', allow me to become quote-happy: "Let the world change you ... and you can change the world"

PS: For those who would like a free online source for the music, the movie's website features streaming audio for a sizeable chunk of the score. Several soundtracks, in fact. Go ahead, sit back and savor it.

The post that was - A visit to the church

2005-08-25T14:49:00.000-05:00

After almost 2.5 years, I went to church this Sunday. The motivation was primarily my recent craving for choir and gospel music. However, it was the first time I've attended mass. Though the visit didn't do much to satiate my cravings, the sermon did leave me surprised. The verse being dealt with was from Matthew 15: 21-28. I understand that I might be quoting (drawing meaning) unpardonably out of context.

Then Jesus went from that place and withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a Canaanite woman of that district came and called out, "Have pity on me, Lord, Son of David! My daughter is tormented by a demon". But he did not say a word in answer to her. His disciples came and asked him, "Send her away, for she keeps calling out after us". He said in reply, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel". But the woman came and did him homage, saying, "Lord, help me". He said in reply, "It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs". She said, "Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters". Then Jesus said to her in reply, "O woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish." And her daughter was healed from that hour.

But some rudimentary googling confirmed that I was not alone in my surprise and that several, more knowledgeable others had experienced similar doubts. For someone who does not have any prior knowledge of biblical literature, I found Jesus's statements strongly discriminatory. As the pastor was explaining how the verse demonstrated that true faith was rewarded, I was sitting partly shocked at the reference to a canine. I was surprised that such strong discrimination should be ratified by quoting it as having come from Jesus himself. Several explanations have been proferred on numerous websites that try to explain this away by saying how it was God's will that the descendants of Abraham be shown the way first. Though not wholly convinced, I atleast sense that there are, perhaps, other interpretations to be drawn. After all, most relegious literature is open to such widely varying interpretations. However, I found portions of bloomingcactus's explanation simple and captivating. Perhaps someday I'll run into somebody who will come down to my wavelength to resonate this empty cavity.

I am sure one can find such discriminatory parallels in Hindu literature and folklore. As I've become too lazy to even pause and think, I'd be glad if someone could point me to specific instances. What would really interest me is to see if the Hindu myths and scriptures portray such statements as coming from one of the many gods, saints and sages that we revere. And how such speech (action / behavior) is explained away. Do they fall back on the omni-science/potence of God as the reason for such statements. Do they attribute it to God wanting to teach the world a lesson-by-example. Having grown up in the midst of Hindu beliefs, traditions, myths, scriptures and folklore, I wonder how it will sound like now. And if any kind of an explanation might make such statements even sound agreeable. I also wonder if I will find myself upto the task of equivocally criticizing both religions for ratifying such discrimination. Whether I will sit back satisfied that religion is just a hallucinatory account of human history and emotions. And if my faith in a supreme being will withstand such and many more rationale-founded debates.

Fine print: Just to make sure that I do not rub anyone on the wrong side, let me state that what I have written here is a snapshot of my thoughts as I was in the process of thinking them. They do not, in any way, reflect my complete or crystallized opinions. I do not intend this as a tirade against any person or religion. Phew...

The post that was - The week in review

2005-08-23T20:07:00.000-05:00

Jus a short recap of some relevant things. If I am not mistaken, this is the first diary-entry style post in my blog. I have usually refrained from the pointless activity of letting the world know what I do everyday / week / month. I also refrain from reading such posts in other blogs. Except perhaps, with the exception of those people who are able to turn such accounts into laughter provoking prose. It is difficult to be able to step away and ridicule oneself from another's point of view. Even more so, to be able to do it humorously. Good-natured self-deprecation has always been a successful genre of humor, and it takes a good writer to be able to do it successfully, yet subtly. Something I have never attempted, fearing a dismal failure. Already digressing from what I intend writing about, let me get back to last week.

Last week saw the culmination of the previous week's slogging with a presentation that I had to make. Though the presentation itself went smoother than I would have liked, major upheavals were part of the days leading up to it. Most notable, the shedding of about half a kilogram of beard in what was practically a shearing ceremony on the eve of D-day. A month's worth of hair growth that was the result of sheer disinclination to do anything. Trust me, if I hadn't been able to lay my hands on the electric shears that I used, I might have spent an eon scratching my way through it with a razor.

That apart, I must meticulously inform all my readers that my physical reference co-ordinates have changed. I moved into a new apartment starting August. It was a week of madness. And it ended with an exasperated roomie who watched as I contentedly sat down amidst towers of cartons to write my report.

Finally forced to relinquish the landline that 'connected' me to the rest of the world, I had to get a cellphone. And I have not yet mailed or called anybody to let them know of these changes. Quintessential me.

The post that was

2005-08-23T19:44:00.000-05:00

In a post that should have appeared on this blog last Wednesday, I had collated a few noteworthy thoughts and observations that stemmed from the happenings of the previous week. However, owing to some funny session and login expiry rules that I am only vaguely beginning to understand, I lost most of the post. And thats a pity, cos what I had typed was certainly not short. I would have considered it sufficient material for 3 posts. And there were certain sections where I had really squeezed my mind quite a bit. Now, that is something that I must hold precious, for there seem to be fewer and fewer occasions where I actually think, as in T.H.I.N.K :) And I dont hope to recapture the precise words that originally formed the post. So, abandoning the idea of reconstructing it, I am resorting to the much simpler alternative of just jotting down brief-but-multiple posts that somewhat reflect the original content. Please bear with me if the next 2/3 posts seem incompletely fleshed out. Also note, that the time frame being written about is the second week of august.

a realization

2005-08-07T02:23:00.000-05:00

Wasted weekends begin with late night fridays :p

... the Stupor

2005-08-03T10:48:00.000-05:00

that hits you on the morn after burning midnight oil. The feeling that you've been pickled in one of those biology lab formalin solutions. The feeling that some thick, numbing haze surrounds you, slowing down all your faculties. I'm rediscovering it all :)

Rediscovering ...

2005-08-03T04:19:00.000-05:00

... the true joy of a 'night out'. In the midst of all the tension, deadlines and pressures, you cocoon yourself in a world of your own. Your work, your music ... just you. Solitude is bliss at times like these.

But it is never for long enough. The unruly, unproductive side of me (thats just abt 98.27% of my being) finds the whole thing chafing ... choking. Always looks for little loopholes that it can blow bubbles through. Cracks in this focused visage that it can break through. Like it has done just now. But enough, time for some more 'jus me' time.

A sudden thought

2005-07-26T19:53:00.000-05:00

Am I mistaken, or has Bollywood taken a fancy to period movies? This could be a very delayed observation as I dont attempt to keep abreast of happenings in the hindi film world. Nor do I care much about what happens in any movie industry. But even I seem to have this mildly cloying taste in my mouth as I watch the fare that is being dished out lately. The industry's infatuation is bound to cause an overkill.

That apart, the passing glances at Bolly heeadlines as I browse through other websites unfailingly nauseates me more and more. Let me stop wasting words before it looks like I care enough about the topic to talk about it. Just wanted to jot down my disgust.

The "help me get in touch" campaign

2005-07-24T19:32:00.000-05:00

Supposed to be working hard on my thesis. But as it turns out, my concentration spans can have fantastic spikes in them (only) when I am doing something unproductive. It is for this reason that I bought myself a laptop 7 months ago. Desperately hoping to increase my productivity. As things turned out, nothing of that sort happened. And with a similar excuse, I've gotten myself a cellfone. Hoping to address my chronically disorganized nature. Dunno if its going to work out.

I used to be secretly afraid of owning one. To me, they were a pain. I wondered how people didn't feel fettered with one on them. But, I succumb to technology. The gadget loving, self pampering, geek in me won over my morbid disgust for wireless imprisonment. God & the laws of physics permitting, this will get me a little more organized. Hopefully, the next time I need to call somebody, I wont have to hunt down a common friend over Yahoo messenger to get the number!

If you are reading this and you know me and I know you and you can stand the thought of having to speak to me then please send me a mail / offliner with your PHONE NO.

Help a disconnected soul.

Updates: Photoblog, Skins and Blogger Comments

2005-07-18T13:59:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to mention a few updates.

I managed to update my photoblog. There have been sweeping changes. First, I have moved the image hosting off blogger onto flickr. I find that it organizes my photos much better. In attempting to redesign my photoblog, I tried to keep in mind the fact that nobody should have to scroll down to view the picture. I was initially planning to post at 640x480. And this called for a major shift away from the tabbed layout that I had already set up for my other pages. It was taking up too much pixel estate. I spent two more nights meddling with the css that, I had just thought, needed no more meddling with. However, it turned out flickr supports just 500 pixels on the long side. So the new skin was in vain. But it looks simple and good, and I have made that the default skin for my photoblog.

Of course, you can still change it to the skin that you prefer, and it will stay set on that. For those who dont know, you can skin my pages. As on date, the options available are very limited. Just 2 or 3 skins that only change the colors a bit. The new skin, "I hate tabs" is the first significant deviation. I hope to add more appealing layouts sometime in the distant future. You need to have javascript enabled for all this. And the skins menu is on the top right corner of the page.

Talking about script, the next major change to go with the 1-pic-per-page layout has been the javascript based navigation scheme. I really must thank Mc on whose blog I came across this, Balaji for sending me there and Ed Powell who has originally authored the script for the system. I did modify the script a little to suit my needs. I think its a neat fix for people who want to host photoblogs on Blogger but still want the classic layout. For people who dont have the time and energy to invest in a domain of their own. Check it out

Two other additions to the post template include the pic metadata section and the picture description portion. The first, I feel, is an essential addition. Will definitely help me keep track of how my technique (if i have one) evolves. The other is just to place the picture in its context. Textual Bits that add meaning to my Pixels.

After all this talk about templates and skins, I want to wind up trying to undo some of my earlier harsh words on the Blogger commenting system. I had switched from Blogger to Haloscan last November as I felt people dont comment on my blog because blogger doesnt allow them to. Some months down the line, as Blogger has updated their commenting system, and as Haloscan is gradually going down the drain, I switch back to them. Of course, I would like things like TypeKey and RSS feeds included. But no, I don't claim to have earthshaking conversations going on in my comments column. It hardly matters. But that one thirsting, craving, Gollum-like part of me called an 'ego' craves for a few more comments.

Ruminating ...

2005-07-18T03:14:00.000-05:00

Well... after my previous post, I went back and 'revised' some of the stories in the Dahl omnibus. Call it rumination if you will. Skimming lightly through some of the pages, this paragraph caught my eye. Found it amusing. I am quoting from "Georgy Porgy", from the Dahl omnibus:

I find that writing is a most salutary occupation at a time like this, and I spend many hours each day playing with sentences. I regard each sentence as a little wheel, and my ambition lately has been to gather several hundred of them together at once and to fit them all end to end, with the cogs interlocking, like gears, but each wheel a different size, each turning at a different speed. Now and again I try to put a really big one right next to a very small one in such a way that the big one turning slowly, will make the small one spin so fast that it hums. Very tricky, that.

The mechanical engineer in me had to blog this. :)

Dallying with Dahl

2005-07-04T13:44:00.000-05:00

Uma mentioned Roald Dahl in her blog. And linked to this article in the The New Yorker.

A few months back, I had been to a bookstore on one of those meaningless, evening outings. I was walking the aisles glancing at the fare on display and my eyes caught a Roald Dahl Omnibus. I was introduced to Dahl in early middle school, when I found a teacher reading one of his poems over lunch and had to find out for myself who the hell this guy was. After devouring several of his kid stories and a few poems, I fell for his simple and made-for-the-kids style. His poems too had this streak of humor and simplistic candidness all through. And then, in the transition from middle school to high school, was lost this enthralling writer that I would have loved to read more of. Once I ended up here in grad school, I did manage to find a few more of his stories online. But never a hardback or paperback to keep company on a Saturday afternoon.

Leafing through the index pages, my thoughts flew halfway across the world to my sister. She was bang in the middle of the academic chaos that we call high school. I was sure that she had not discovered Roald Dahl, and I did not want her repeating these li'l mistakes that I had committed. It was this that spurred me to buy the book as soon as I set eyes on it. "I'll gift it to her when I go home", I thought. Back to my apartment, the selfish reader in me took over. "She wont mind if I read the book first. After all, I am her brother. I'll get it wrapped once I finish."

And I was in for a neat, li'l surprise. Roald Dahl, it seems wrote short stories targeted at adult audiences too. The book carried a selection of short stories from 2 or 3 of his published collections, and a few that had been published in magazines. I read on, discovering a new facet to this writer of children's stories. I found in him, the same qualities that make Saki and O' Henry masters of their genre. The wry humor, the succinctness, the ability to bring a stale setting to life and weave a story out of an ordinary occurrence. And most of all, the surprise ending. The ending that typically whips your breath away, leaving you whooshing for air. And then makes you read that last paragraph again, this time, the feeling of expectation tingling up your spine. And brings you back to the same story a week from hence for another dose of exquisite adrenalin. Indeed, the ideal short story is addictive. And the Dahl I was reading was on those same lines! Not the captivating children's story, but the full fledged, regal short story.

Some of them had mildly non-kiddo themes. The kind that is seemingly targeted at middle-aged, stern-looking, gossip-loving, English spinsters. The kind that might have appeared in magazines that had commissioned Dahl for a series of stories to boost their reader base. But nevertheless, humorous and readable.

And hence, I was in a dilemma. I wasn't sure my sister was ready to read such stories. She would appreciate the language and style, sure. But I was in two minds about the content, however mildly it might have been put. She might be in high school, but she was still my li'l kid sister. Fortunately, the issue never crystallized as my trip home has not yet materialized. And by the time I do get around to gifting the book to my sister, I think she'll be almost out of school, and much better poised to read "Dahl: the short story writer".

In Memory

2005-07-01T17:04:00.000-05:00

She taught me the difference between present and present... and how to say moment. If I appreciate Shakespeare, its because of her. She stoked my love for, and appreciation of the written and spoken language. And several others' too. But not any more.

She taught me so much. And yet, not enough to be able to convey what I feel now. Its ironical that words should fail me when I try to write about the person who taught me how to use them.

R.I.P

PS: I could have written another thousand words, and perhaps I would have just begun to scratch the surface of what she means to hundreds of PSBBians around the world. Instead, I link here to other people who might do a better job with their words.

Vikram Chandran, her son.

Srikanth

Gokul

Anand

Dinesh

Others

New name, New looks ... New purpose?

2005-06-23T06:49:00.000-05:00

I almost felt compelled to post again just to show that I am back to active blogging. Not that there is nothing to say (write). There have been so many occasions in the last couple of months when I've been literally shaking from the need to put my thoughts on the blog. But I refrained, with the solemn thought that I would blog again only after I updated my page layout. Which, I knew, was pretty much the only way to get myself to actually update the pages. And thus, a two-month break became a long half-year silence. A period that has given me a bit of time to do some semi-serious soul searching.

Why is this blog? Does it have an essential existence? Is it a great place to keep up with world news? Or do I update these pages with snippets from my life? Or does it serve a niche reader-base with writings on 'niche' topics? Is this a tech blog? Or a test blog? Am I a great writer? Does my writing make ppl split their sides in fits of laughter? Am I writing for a higher cause? Like "Animals' Lib" or "Cruelty to Women"? Or is this blog one of those gr8 politico-journalistico-critico types? Does this blog get so many hits that companies pay me to write about them on a per-word basis? Or am I out to change the world (A carriage return is mightier than a sword)? Do I do this to feed my ego? Did I start a blog because it was a very hep-'clique'ish thing to do? Do I blog because my family can keep a tab on my doings? Or because a potential girlfriend might be impressed? Do I blog because I have to spread the word of the almighty? Or because I have to sell farm machine spare-parts? Do I blog with a purpose?

Well, I racked my brain for quite a while. I tried to find a purpose for blogging. I distinctly remember deciding early-on that my blog would not recount personal & daily activities/ incidents, the way many bloggers do. I did not want to maintain an online diary that others would read. So, my blogs cannot be about what I do. But I have to write about something I know. Something that I am good at. Which, it turns out, is woefully little. So this blog will not be a 'niche' blog. No tech stuff here. And I dont make claims to writing funny stuff, or popular stuff. The last one year, my blog has been getting about 10 hits a day. Which, I must assume is only a close circle of friends. Of course, I would like to change that... reach out to more people. I would like to write gr8 stuff, and be appreciated, quoted and clip-blogged everywhere. But should that be what drives me to blog?

My Very First Post
Well, I just dunno whats got into me. I used to despise blogs of any kind .. and here I am, creating my own blog!! Well, I am just hoping this will be a better way for all the people who know me, and who want to glimpse at my lifestyle and thought processes to keep in touch with whats up.

I dont plan to post daily or even weekly, for that matter. This is just going to be a record of those erratic bursts of the wish to express something. I just presume that like all this modern art stuff, Ill end up creating something, that someone out there will be able to interpret sensibly and enjoy.

So here's to my log

Just to see, if I actually had a purpose in mind when I started out, I went back and looked at my first blog post that I have blurbed here. I am relieved that I non-categorically asserted that this blog was going to be erratic at best. And erratic it has been. :) When I started out, I remember clearly that I would blog because I enjoyed writing. I was rediscovering, after a long break, the pleasures of writing. I also wanted to see how good I could get. I wanted to see if I could write pieces off the top of my head without having to ponder deep and plan my words. I also remember feeling this urge to speak out about my values and ethics.

But in the last few months I have felt the need to discover new purpose for blogging. I'd like to say that I am searching for the "blogger" equivalent of the purpose of all life and creation. Perhaps, Vivekananda-like I should set out on a quest for the answer. Or maybe I could try growing a beard and find a cave in the nearby Oak Mountains :) But till I find an answer, blogging I shall be!

Back to Blogging

2005-06-21T21:02:00.000-05:00

Today is a big day. I am finally back into the blogging business. And the page redesign that I have been using as an excuse for so long, has finally materialized. I have updated my home page too. Lets hope it marks the beginning of a new, more pro-active phase.

I'd love to hear from you people about what you think of the new design. And, please let me know if you notice any bugs. I havent tested this across the whole range of browsers yet.

introspection

2005-06-14T19:24:00.000-05:00

My good deed for the day: I was a sponge.

My question for the day: Is there a conservation law for emotions ? (like mass, momentum & energy)

My promise for the day: Ill update my pages tomorrow :)

... and no updates to the blog because:

2005-04-14T16:01:00.000-05:00

i was just replying to a howler from a friend, when i thought that i might as well make it a public statement. so here it is.

... and no updates to the blog because:
1) first two months, i was totally down. i went empty from the inside. have my own reasons.
2) second two months, i kept planning a total revamp that has'nt yet materialized.

when will you start posting again?:
hopefully AFTER a total revamp of all my pages.

when will that happen?:
i cant read misty crystal balls, but definitely sometime soon ;)

whats stopping you from the revamp?:
myself !

when should i check back again?:
i dunno :(

how can i contribute?:
leave a few choice words for a comment. something that could hopefully sting me out of this reverie.

Things I learnt today

2005-02-01T21:32:00.000-06:00

Persistence Pays.

2005

2004-12-31T18:50:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year everybody. Wishing it stays happy even when its no longer new.

My resolution: I shall keep my accounts in order hereafter. :D
(After all, they're made to be broken rite?)

She joins Him

2004-12-11T16:22:00.000-06:00

They led lives to look up to.

Listening to her sing would convince you that the world was indeed created from sound - the eternal chant Om (Aum). That indeed, all creation is pervaded by the undying reverberations of the Akaaram, Ukaaram & Makaaram. And that the depths of your being touched by her searching voice are indisputable proof of the same.

I consider myself lucky to be born in an age when such maestros graced mother earth.

snippets ...

2004-11-20T21:15:00.000-06:00

One liners that i've suddenly wanted to pen down... will be adding to it with time.

"The inky black sky washed squeaky clean .. the lake regains yesterday's gleam."

"A tornado is nature's vacuum-cleaner-gone-haywire."

"Tathaasthu .. so be it."

"The tiger's eyes are like my own. But he comes from over a deep and troubled sea." (The Last Samurai)

"Welcome to Calcutta. Where the shortest distance between two points is always under construction." (The Dirty Doggy - blog)

"What is this thank-you? The lady at the bank thanks me, the librarian thanks me when I return an overdue book, the overseas operator thanks me as she tried to connect me to Dacca and fails. If I am buried in this country I will be thanked, no doubt, at my funeral." (Mr. Pirazda in Interpreter of Maladies - Jhumpa Lahiri)

- Though cynical, I found this excerpt really reflective of the true thought processes of someone who hails from a region where people dont make such an elaborate affair of being exquisitely polite.

Cluster Hunting

2004-11-14T01:33:00.000-06:00

Our very own Cahaba is flooded with jobs. Comp. Science's Everest is down. Alabama supercomputing's Crays run MPICH. The math department's Beowulf seems promising. And what with, Tecplot installed, its hard to resist. Would be great if I could get a login.

People clamor for gmail IDs.
Or perhaps, for seats on a bus.
Attention .. definitely! (what do you think this blog is all about??)
Food? Man, I have seen some pretty bad fistfights for that last piece of candy.

Here, in the life of one poor (all puns intended) graduate student, such desires dwarf into seeming insignificance when compared with the one BIG perennial hunger that hounds us - the craving for CPU time. Working in a simulation-based area ensures that you are apportioned your share of heavy codes that demand hours of run-time in a parallel environment. And it so happens that whenever you are in a hurry to get some results, everybody else also is. Things have been going from bad to worse in terms of available computing power. Right when Im looking at running some near-continuum flows that need all the crunch they can get, I run into a drought of CPU time. And not a short one at that ... this one has lasted more than a month.

Fortunately, things are poised to turn for the better. We should be getting some time on Cahaba soon. However, its Murphy who always has the last word. What with the chances for CPU time increasing, gone is the pressing need to run the case :)

Meanwhile, Im planning to punch the next guy who takes my pizza.

Blogger Comments Suck

2004-11-04T18:45:00.000-06:00

Been on the cards for a long time, I finally have switched to Haloscan for the comments on this blog. This way, the few ppl who do stop by to leave a message can do it much better, rather than having to bear with the blogger commenting system which really makes a pain of the process.

And, let me take this chance to make an open appeal to my few readers, that they assuage my hurt ego by leaving a message on the blog. This way I know that there is somebody out there that gives two pence about what I feel.

The only sorry thing about this seems to be that there is no way to export my comments on blogger to Haloscan. I just have to lose them all or bear the eyesore of two commenting systems on the blog. As I have most of the comments backed up safe, I dont mind much.

And speaking of exporting, I think it is time that somebody comes up with a standard format for exporting and importing blogs. Taking my case as the story of the average blogger, I am sure anybody who sticks to it for a while is bound to make a few transitions between different platforms.And it is to the benefit of everybody if we could simply export and import blogs, the way we do address books. A format that can archive the posts, comments, crosslinking, images and perhaps, even the layout and stuff. This would really be coool. One could then jus packup one's blog and migrate to another system. Lets wait and watch if that happens.

Signing off ...

Atlantis ... or Antarctica ?

2004-10-29T13:04:00.000-05:00

I was recently looking at the hit stats for this blog. Trying to see how many ppl were actually foolish / unfortunate enough to stop by. There was this pie chart that piqued me. The chart displayed all the continents from which my page had received hits. It dutifully listed the 6 that we can expect. And then there was this seventh that really caught my attention. I have it posted here:

Was wondering if it was someone from Antarctica or perhaps the lost civilization from Atlantis. Perhaps the Numenoreans from Tolkien's Middle Earth [ picking up on the last post ;) ]. You obviously cant rule out visitors from outer space [vain belief that my blog is so popular !!]. Nor can you rule out any of those beautiful mermaids [tell me which continent they live on, huh ??]. Of course, there's a more mundane explanation to the whole thing, but doesnt it sometimes make it exciting to ignore the facts and do a little 'thinking-up' of your own !!

As an aside, here's a more specific list of countries in decreasing order of the number of visitors from each. Some really unexpected countries. Blogging's making the world really small.

1. United States ;
2. India ;
3. United Kingdom ;
4. Singapore ;
5. Canada ;
6. Japan ;
7. Kenya ;
8. Australia ;
9. Netherlands, The ;
10. Malaysia ;
11. Hong Kong S.A.R. ;
12. Germany ;
13. United Arab Emirates ;
14. Uruguay ;
15. France ;
16. Korea ;
17. Saudi Arabia ;
18. Hungary ;
19. Portugal ;
20. Taiwan

Summer Reading

2004-10-24T22:18:00.000-05:00

This post has been in the making for just about an eon. Actually wanted to put this little section in the column on the right with cover pics of the reading I'd done over summer, but then I never got around to it. So here's the stuff I read for the summer.

1) The Bourne Ultimatum (Ludlum) - The final part in this 3-book series seems better than the second, but not as gripping as the first. Somehow, I feel Ludlum stretched this one story & one character too far. Nevertheless, you get the expected out of the book. The unputdownability that Ludlum's known for, is still quite there. Perhaps, its because Im beginning to get used to his writing, that I didn't find it as razor-edge as the first.

2) LOTR (Tolkien) - On my 'to read' agenda for the last 5 years, I finally did get around to reading it. I had doggedly stayed away from the screen versions of the work as I had wanted to read it first. And I am sure I did right. Never can a movie hope to capture the exquisite vividness that a good writer can convey to an appreciative reader. Tolkien has really woven a world of his own. No negatives. Great writing. Amazingly comprehensive creation. Its the detail in the narration that leaves you with this feeling of reading an epic based on history.

It was just about in the aftermath of this read, that I got into an argument with a friend over a trifle. I happened to observe that 'Tolkien's epic very vividly narrates the history of Middle Earth.', to which my friend wouldn't agree. He felt that the term history cannot apply in whatsoever sense to a work of fiction as this. Hope to clarify things sometime soon.

3) The Silmarillion & other stories (Tolkien) - I read this as a sequel to the LOTR series, though the content predates the events mentioned in the trilogy. Tolkien really leaves nothing incomplete in his creation of a new world. What is really noticeable is his adept blending of the traditional 'mythological' details like the creation of the world and the gods (their equivalent, atleast), with the actual characters in his 'historical' narration of the happenings in the first and second ages. In doing so, and in artfully introducing (at the end of the third book) the Fourth Age as the Age of Man, Tolkien cleverly puts his stories somewhere in the middle ground between 'The Mythology of Middle Earth', & 'History of the First & Second Ages'.

I would suggest this as a must read for any Tolkien fan as it really places and rounds out the trilogy. Your understanding of the LOTR books is really enhanced because you understand the happenings of the previous two ages. However, I would advise it only to a very patient reader.

4) White Fang (London) - Must be the third time Im reading this book. For quite some time now, I have had this 'weakness' of re-reading some books, when I was totally starved of new material. My childhood had been such an incessant hunger for the printed word, that there were several times that I raced through a book without savoring the detail. It was only in high school that I became able to exercise enough control over my impulse to read on, and re-read some lines slowly to let the detail sink in. And it was then that I become conscious of the joys of re-reading.

I started re-reading books with the sole intention of reading slowly, like a connoisseur sips wine. Often, I would deliberately go at a snail's pace, reluctant to finish the book quickly. I hated the vacuous feeling that set in after I was done with one.

Coming back to the novel, I have read both White Fang, and its complement 'Call of the Wild' several times. The Gold rush setting, and the story of an animal keep pulling me back. If you have read one, then don't miss the other.

5) Catch 22 (Heller) - Started reading this book as I didnt feel like doing anything. The start was hilarious. Story presented in a kinda different format. These two factors made me plod on into the book. Then it started growing tiresome. The comedy lost its appeal. There seemed to be nothing happening in that style of narration. In fact, there didn't seem to be any narration at all. There seemed to be no sequence in his writing. Just a going-around-in-cricles humour. I stuck with it for about 270 pages, and then gave up.

6) The Prometheus Deception (Ludlum) - This book was a gift from my aunt, last year, for my long flight here. Again, it was a re-read, though not worthy of it. However, the first time I read it, I was left with this sense of paranoia. This feeling of insecurity and helplessness against a system that was unimaginably vast and powerful. Its basically about how in this age of the Info Revolution, information becomes the most powerful weapon, and how personal privacy becomes non-existent in a society of SSNs, credit cards, and central computerization. Must have been the exposure to the new way of life in this country that enhanced this feeling. But, I still feel the book has a lot to think about. I keep getting the gut feeling that not much of it is fiction. Would recommend it to anybody, just for a light but thoughtful read. Systematix a.k.a Google ?? .. thats leading to a future post.

Arcane Affairs (:p)

2004-10-13T15:48:00.000-05:00

Note: The author wishes to remain anonymous. Nor has any background information been offered. This piece was in my hands early July. And it was a tough decision to make when the discretion to publish was left in my hands. Suffice to say that such writing is totally uncharacteristic of my blog (or isnt it?), and I wasnt sure if it should be here at all. But it finally does end up here because of just one reason... The spontaneity is almost tangible.

The strongest emotions have the smaller and emptier words decribing them. Like Pain... Like Love.
Why am i concerned ? Why do i care if somebody is down ? Distance dulls the intensity. Or does it ? How do another's emotions affect me in any way ?

But I am affected. The knowledge that another is not in the best of spirits wieghs on you. Pulls you down. You spend time staring at the wall, wondering why you are so down suddenly. You wish to do something that will alleviate this stupor from either. Do something that will let the other person know that you are sharing the burden, that you are there. That you care.

And then, you realise that there really is no 'other'. That all this is born of the oneness. That it is but a reaffirmation of the intractable intertwining of two souls. And that you are in the midst of something divine. Something greater than either. A classic case of sum greater than the whole. An infinite being.

... Wishful thinking.

Awaiting Ivan ...

2004-09-15T17:35:00.000-05:00

In a few hours, Ivan strikes the US coast near Mobile, AL. One positive impact - no classes Thursday & Friday!!

TO DO List
- Stay Safe
- Stay Dry
- Catch up on some reading (academic)
- Go picture-hunting (might get a few interesting shots in times like these)

Also hope this feeds a coupla posts

Bharath Ek Khoj

2004-08-24T21:20:00.000-05:00

Thanks to google, today I was able to hunt down the mp3 version of one of my favorite title songs. I have been searching high and low for quite long, for the audio version of the titles of Bharath Ek Khoj (Discovery of India).

To the unacquainted, it was a hugely successful TV series that played on DD (in India) in the mid & late 80s. It recounted the 'not-so -short' history of the country in no insignificant detail. I wouldnt like to elaborate further and get into debates of whether Nehru's interpretation of history was accurate enough. Nor do I remember much beyond a few vivid scenes that include Alexander atop a war-tower, Porus in chains, power lunches where Chanakya taught Chandragupta the nuances of political strategy, an enraged Kautilya in Nanda's court, Asoka, the Kalinga War etc.

Though I was not a regular viewer, I was always in rapt attention whenever I was watching as the title songs aired. The titles, both at the beginning and end of each episode, enchanted me. I think part of the appeal was because, just like the serial itself, they were so unembellished, so devoid of any adornments. I also seemed to have a taste for the rythmic cadence of the chants. Anyhow, they left a very strong impact on me. Something that mixed with the fogging of childhood memories, inevitably assumed an almost unquestionable axiomatic aura.

Coming back, I somehow successfully hunted it down in the dark alleys of the internet, that super-sniffer google aiding me in locating the threads of a message board. I have now uploaded the songs to my webspace and have provided links here for the people who might end up here (perhaps again, due to google !!) looking for the same thing. Though this version doesnt exactly sound like the way I remember it, Id like to attribute my mild disillusionment to the mediocre quality of the sound files :)

And to become the one-stop source for this song, I have also included here the lyrics to the title songs of Bharath Ek Khoj. I should also thank profusely, the member of 'Nukkad' a Mumbai based mailin-list-cum-message-board whose enterprise has made my quest fruitful. Thank you.

BHARATH EK KHOJ - TITLE SONG
BHARATH EK KHOJ - TITLE SONG LYRICS

BHARATH EK KHOJ - ENDING TITLES
BHARATH EK KHOJ - ENDING TITLE LYRICS

Ennui ?

2004-08-13T20:17:00.000-05:00

I am sitting here in the department working on a couple of presentations that I have to give on Monday. I don't know why it unfailingly happens on Friday evenings, but it does. With a slightly messed up schedule, I usually start my day in the afternoons. This means, that as I get into the day's work, people are packing to leave.

And, as it used to even four years ago when I was in my freshman year, Friday evenings still evoke this feeling of emptiness in me. Despite parties, movies, eating out, friends, beaches, novels, music, TV and what not, I still am left with this feeling that slowly grows on you till you are at a despondent ebb. Then it slowly washes away, and you seem to get over it. But no, its still lurking around the corner, waiting for another weekend to annouce itself. The whole process lasts, sometimes the whole evening, sometimes half an hour. Sometimes, when I just get so inebriated with whatever I am doing that evening, I don't seem to notice. But its there all the same.

Today, I sat in the department working on the presentations, when a colleague who was dropping by, reminded me of the Olympics opening ceremony. Having completely forgotten it, I tried in vain to see if there was a live netcast. Didn't seem to be there. That seemed to trigger the thing. Within minutes I found myself questioning the very purpose of an existence that didn't seem to have meaning. I wondered why I was doing all this.

I think back on a recent post that I had titled Monday evenings. Though, it was born out of my own feelings, I think a post titled Friday evenings would have been more apt. Would have really reflected how I felt about it. It was Monday evening, just because I wrote that on a Monday.

Well, thats all. No conclusions. No inferences. I am just working it out of my system with some Enya and some Blogging. Wanted to chronicle what I felt. So, there you go.

Bobisms by The Grid God

2004-08-08T07:53:00.000-05:00

"Dont play with knives. Play with your wives."
- Hari Bob (07 August '04)
Solemn realization after Bob was educated on the dangers of playing with serrated knives by the Coimbatore Coundar.

"Quality doesnt matter if you're not going to eat what you cook."
- Hari Bob (12 July '04)
Thank goodness, Bob doesnt teach at a culinary institure. Dare not think of the consrquences.

"The Pandavas were socialists"
- Hari Bob (18 June '04)
I dont want to go too deep into the far-reaching repurcussions of such a bold inference, nor would I like to discuss the thought processes that led to it. Suffice to say that Bob, the insufferable thinker has come up another of his 'famous' Bobisms. Ill shortly be linking to a post on Balaji's blog, who was also audience to this 'BoBest of them all' utterance.

"Two logical arguments can never be convergent if they arise from different frames of reference."
- Hari Bob (April '04)
The corollaries and inferences that u can draw from this statement !! Might put a stop to a few of those long drawn and heated debates that are really not worth any time at all. Very precisely and succinctly put.

"Let your pride not be your weakness."
- Hari Bob (April '04)
Seem to have heard that somewhere, but still, he said it at a time when it conveyed everything that needed to be said.

"Engineers dont drop things. They test them."
- Hari Bob (Undated)
U need statements like this one to start feeling important.

They've asked us to pray.

2004-08-04T08:11:00.000-05:00

Father to one of my juniors at school, husband to one of my favorite teachers, a teacher himself, one of the reasons behind my 4 years at Pondicherry, a jolly & approachable person, no artificial airs, one of the very few that nature bestows with a serenity and peace that comes from within and pervades without - Uncle D has taken ill.

Over the past two weeks, I have been reading Dinesh's account of his father's progress on his blog. I followed the ups and downs in the chart as Dinesh reported them. I read with horror about his high BP, and with joy about his steady recovery. And all through, there has been this growing conviction that good men like Uncle D are here to stay.

The latest post reports that Uncle D has undergone a major surgery to relieve his high blood pressure and is fighting his way back to normalcy. And somewhere amidst a pageful of woes, I caught this statement.

"They've asked us to pray."

And it was then that I felt that, perhaps, my blog might serve a purpose after all. If only I can convince a fraction of my readers to take the effort of a coupla clicks and leave a message, an expression of support, of encouragement, a display of solidarity ... a small prayer.

Im sure a few words can go a long way in boosting morale. Please do drop by Dinesh's blog if you would wish to.

A really narrow choice :(

2004-08-03T05:15:00.000-05:00

I was jus chatting with a friend of mine who works at Oracle. As it usually happens when two young guys are at work & have the opportunity to have a 'business discussion', we came around to the topic of marriage & the task (perhaps ..chore) of finding a suitable girl. And my dear friend, so at ease with abstract Data Mining and Retrieval concepts summarized our discussion for me in one of those queries...

SELECT count(*)
FROM all_girls
WHERE age > myAge-3 AND age < myAge
AND qualification=some undergrad
AND religion=tam_bram
AND status = 'still single and virgin'

He then, true to the name of his company, prophesized that the query would return '0' (ZERO) even without added clauses like 'good looking' etc.

He put it so hilariously that I just had to put it on my blog. So here it is. Just hoping that it doesnt turn out to be so oracular after all ;)

Aperitifs but No Entree !!

2004-07-25T01:11:00.000-05:00

        It is amazing to see how much communications technology has developed in the last few years. But sometimes u start feeling that its not always for good. Especially, when u possess something that is not yet fully developed or foolproof.

        Consider for instance what happened to me just a coupla minutes ago. 'Amazing' cellular communications put me on the line with a close friend who was traveling on a train half the world across. I didnt give it a second thought then. But, much to Murphy's delight, the train just then had to pass into a region where the signal could not be picked up. Back to square one.

    Would it have been better, I wonder, if I hadnt got the line in the first place. Then I wouldnt have had to experience the exhilaration of "Hi !! ... its been such a long time." before having to listen to the dismal 'disconnected' tone. It would have been good too, if there didnt exist such satellite technology that could extend such a long, though feeble arm halfway across the globe to reach out to someone.

(about 300 words in half an hour - written and deleted)

    I begin to understand the urge for poets to cover themselves with similes and metaphors. There are instances like this when u really want to portray how you feel ... the depth and intensity of your emotions, when u realize that language has its limitations after all. You want to convey something ... but cannot describe in words. You draw analogies to a more common occurence (event, emotion, action etc) that readers can identify with and have experienced (or, can comprehend).
And thus, you convey.

With that justification , let me say that I now feel like having been given aperitifs to whet the appetite and then being left to starve.

Water ... Lifegiver

2004-07-23T22:09:00.000-05:00

    This evening found me playing a racquetball game at the gym with a friend. A draining game for a total novice. Within the hour I was all huffy. And I noticed I was not moving as much on my feet as I ought to.

   Totally kaput ... I called for a break and trudged up to the nearest water fountain. As the clear and cool liquid coursed down my throat, I really did feel this instantaneous change. A sudden breath of energy.

   I reflected on several instances in literature where the author spends considerable effort trying to portray the suffering that water causes with its absence. Phrases like 'life flowed anew through his veins' flashed through my mind. I noted that two out of the three books that I have read lately dwelled on the hardships of drinking water shortage ( LOTR & Life of Pi ).

    A coupla minutes later I found myself back on court ... playing with a vigour, jumping and sidestepping better than I had been. Of course, that it didnt make any difference is another story, but the value of water had been driven home.

I like to think that I have learned something out of it. Whether I have, will only come to light, if I do all the small things that I want to, to conserve water.

Reminiscences of Madras

2004-07-23T21:32:00.000-05:00

Nothing has made me yearn so much for India in the recent past than this post by my schoolmate Girish on his blog. Brought back fond memories of Madras.

The lesser I say, the better. Cos I dont want to dilute the pleasure of the pain derived from longing. A pain that constantly reminds me of more joyous days ... and makes me feel closer to home.

Do check out Girish's post.

Just another monday evening

2004-07-12T17:54:00.000-05:00

She looked up from her monitor and sat back. Her fingers were aching from the constant effort to tame the mouse to her will. The sun was well into its descent, nearing the point when it would bathe everything in a glow of red and orange. But right now it was still in a fiery mood, bowing head & bough alike in an unrelenting blaze.

She squinted outside through the narrow gap between the bottom of the blinds and the window sill. After hours under the stark lights that heightened the drear of the cream and blue walls, that strip of outside seemed like a land of golden treetops.

Looking back inside she saw through glass walls, the sea of cubicles that hemmed her in - cramping her, choking her, adding to her claustrophobia. People were milling about the floor with scant regard to the maze of cubicles that attempted to confine each to his/her own. Potted plants lined the walking space, breaking the monotony of the cream and black-grey. Through her 'sound-proofed' walls she could still hear faint traces of what must have been a mind-numbing cacophony of keystrokes, ringing phones and screeching printers.

The computer intruded into her thoughts with a beep, informing her of new mail. It was about the meeting next day. She was to make an extra presentation that prepped the visitors so that the Big Guns upstairs could go straight for the kill at the meeting. She tried closing the mail but it refused, the grotesque Office Assistant reminding her that she should add the appointment to her calendar.

It was going to be one of those days. The presentation and meeting would take all of the morning. And then she was to have lunch with the technical officers in the delegation. But beneath the subterfuge, it was going to be exquisite fencing - subtle comments, smooth repartees but all the time prodding, coaxing and squeezing out their true reactions to the earlier meeting. A draining lunch, in all. The post-lunch session would then meld into the post-dinner session when she would be cloistered with the other department heads in a marathon session that gauged reactions, evaluated response and rated the enthusiasm (or lack of it). All the numbers would then be based on this session, in stark disregard of all business principles. It was a classic victory of intuition over reason.

The ringing phone brought her back to the present. Some procurements officer wanted an appointment to discuss some problems with quality. It would have to wait until next week. The motley colors on her appointment calendar announced that her time had already been mercilessly carved up, some with and some without her consent. She was a prisoner in space-time (with due apologies to Einstein) !!

She turned back to that narrow strip of freedom at the window. Aaah ... what would she give to ecape from it all.

It was just another monday evening.

My heart will go on

2004-06-29T22:43:00.000-05:00

Guys, I was listening to that song after quite a while ... There still seems to be this chord (in the song)that strikes a chord (in the heart) ... or perhaps its the sheer pitch that (if you try to hum along) has u straining for breath.

Anyway, it didnt fail to reproduce that empty feeling deep inside that it did 5 years back (or was it six)

read with a pinch of salt.

2004-05-18T00:53:00.000-05:00

I was just reviewing the UAB Quiz Club blog, and it struck me that my own pages must be feeling orphaned. True enough, I checked back, and discovered to my horror, that I last updated my web page on Oct 17th '03!! And its been quite a while since my blog had any new blood.

I hence solemnly resolve to set aside a whole week to shaking off the dust and redoing my page. It shall be a rise from the ashes (dust)... phoenix-like. A new beginning. Creation on a mini-scale.

There shall be light ...
and there shall be sound.
And there shall be links,
to jump around.

pull down menus,
shock wave files.
and flashes of brilliance,
shall take me miles.

A new sidebar,
pics, for the ones afar.
all the tricks in the jar,
in all, a whole new avatar !!

google shall wake up,
google shall notice.
and then it shall proclaim,
The TOP, I will reclaim !

Lemme stop, before somebody decides to send me a grenade by mail ;) well, thats my summer manifesto. Do stop by the blog and my page often. You might have to judge who's kept more promises. Me or the new Indian government(s) !

meghdoot ??!!??!

2004-04-29T00:39:00.000-05:00

I dunnno what triggered the thought, but i was seriously debugging the code for my final project in advanced CFD, when i was suddenly reminded of an incident of just about a year ago. And i felt, incomplete and irrelevant though it may sound, that I had to blog it in. ;)

There was this fine day in my final sem undergrad, when I was trying to pull my friend's leg. I was trying to draw an analogy to Kalidasa's Meghdoot, when to my utter amazement, this person denied all knowledge of anything called 'Meghdoot'. Imagine any decent self-respecting Indian professing such a blatant ignorance of one's culture and history. To not know of the works of Kalidasa ... i felt scandalised.

The rest of the class spent in painstakingly recounting what little i knew of this father of drama and play, I tried to set right the obvious effects of the hideous loopholes in our educational system. It is quite evident that we do not lay enough stress in educating the youth about our country and our culture. I shall refrain from speaking more on the same lines, as I know that a coupla hundred zillion lines have already been written on the topic in everything from the Rosetta stone to the Voyager spacecraft's data capsules.

But what still doesnt fail to amaze me, is how the place (read school) one studies in, so drastically influences one's knowledge of our history. I do accept the fact that no single correct point of view can be decided upon for recounting the happenings of the past 5 millenia in the subcontinent. But shouldnt the attempt be made to present the facts from a secular viewpoint, such that the children be able to draw their own conclusions & opinions of our incomparable history.

Note : I really mean all that i've typed above.

Sidenote: I was hoping to capture the essence of the writing style of some very distinctly typical indian critical writers. Though im not going to spot out the specifics of the form and style, it has not turned out the way i expected it.

Summer Project: Ill try and post more stuff in the same tone. Lets hope we can then put our heads together and see if i have, in fact, done a passable job at mimicking such essays that keep appearing in major indian dailies.

Under Construction

2004-04-20T17:47:00.000-05:00

been a while since even i visited this blog ..... still havent figured out what to do with it ... meanwhile have been posting on the other one pretty regularly ....
so seeya there !!

Ram

PS: This post was on the day that I got Gmail account. 'Cos i was a frequent Blogger. That led me to post this on my then 'dormant' blog at this address. It hence is the second & last of the original posts on this blog when my primary was Lycos.

Calling Dr. Jones ?

2004-03-18T18:09:00.000-06:00

Just finished a test. Pretty draining, it was. Letting myself loosen up back at the lab, i found myself scribbling on the whiteboard ... words, doodles, basically emptying the thought tanker, for a rehaul ...

then, as i stepped back a few minutes later, it struck me that they could all make it to the blog ... perhaps, this might be the stuff pshychoanalysts have to get their hands on to find out why i am what i am ... anyway, here it is; in no particular order.

boredom - emptiness - panacea - warped - ennui - jet lag
no light ; no end ; no tunnel ; no hope ; no thoughts ; no feelings ; no consciousness ; no self ; no existence ; no god ;
light ; hope ; joy ; life ; reason ; fulfillment
kinetic energy ; lml ; honda ;
particle tracking ; home ; mom ;
the orient ; dumb kid on the block

so much for that... lets see how many shrinks can make anything outta the thing

the secret behind my profession..

2004-03-15T10:34:00.000-06:00

I was struggling with a coupla derivations for an upcoming test. The mind was fresh from a good rest, but was being numbed and blunted by the seemingly devious 'which came first, hen or chicken ?' kind of assumptions that the proof was taking me through.

And it dawned on me all of a sudden ... the very basis of engineering, the whole secret behind centuries of debacles, so-called breakthroughs, progress ... everything.

That ...

"Engineering is the art of making assumptions that you CANNOT prove, but NOBODY else can disprove."

On the path to Self realisation ...
and a succesful career !! ...

Another e-mail conversation

2004-03-13T11:30:00.000-06:00

Here's another e-mail conversation that occured just yesterday. Should make passable reading if u've got an uncritical sense of humour, and some time. The occasion was the invitation to a birthday treat to be given by my roomie. As i was given the task of inviting the guys, it was obvious to expect some foul play ;)
so here goes ...

Mail 1 ----

To: M; V; A; G; K; T
Primary reply to : Rahul Bond (over phone)
Subject: bond's treat

Hey guys ..

Bond wanted u guys to confirm the attendance for his Bday treat. U are required to
call up Mr. Rahul Bond at home (or on his cell) to confirm your presence and to fix the time . Any time
after 7:30 pm is permissible, as before that, my roomie Prof. K will be teaching the
'hyperspace-quantum physics & superstring theory verification' lab.

Looking forward to meeting you at Al's for the treat
R

Mail 2 ----

From: M
To: R
Subject: RE: bond's treat

I guess we shall have to shift the testing of this important thing by our high level team, from Al's to Taj India. For this meeting discussing cutting edge gastronomic technology, we cannot employ a commonly
accesible place. Please confirm your views on this so that re-locating can be done without any major
losses.

M

Mail 3 ----
From: R
To: M

Technically, I do not have any objections to this relocation program. Actually, If planned out properly, this can fructify into a well-funded project, with the capacity of sustaining about 7/8 grad students for one whole meal. The possibilities of extending this into a series of meals is also quite real. But the proposal has to be well worded and submitted with utmost care, as it is a very sensitive area. With proper persuasion, the sanctioning authority (Mr. Rahul Bond) should accede to our requests. I feel that all efforts should be immediately channeled in this direction. Also to be taken into account, are the commuting efforts involved.

All said and done, I would also like to place on record my personal lack of interest in Taj India. With frequent visits, the suggested location poses no new challenge or possibilities to me. In this light, I hope my suggestions are taken as an objective analysis.

R

Mail 4 ----
From: M
To: R

Mr. R,

I concur with your views. In this scenario, the issuing authority Mr. Bond does not have any discretion in the matter. The funds have to be allocated due to severe necessity. Targeting Al's is not a good thought and so is the case with Taj India. Both these places, as you rightly said, pose no new challenge. We have another secure area blooming with possibilites called 5-points. With people as talented as us, and the funding resourcefulness of Mr. Bond, embarking on a difficult and costly project would not be out of
question. Most of the colleagues in my lab would be duly convinced in progressing to some path breaking
discovery.

I would apreciate it if you could bring this to Mr. Bond's light and prepare him to expect a great team
success on such a mission.

Regards
M

Legend:
R - Myself
M - My primar collaborator in planning this advanced gastronomic research
A, V - M's roomies
G - My roomie
T - Neighbour
Prof. K- He already figures in another entry in this blog. (The last teardrop)
Mr. Rahul Bond - The B'day boy (& hence our funding authority !)
Al's, Taj India - Eateries
5 points - secret location of our new research lab with great facilities for our research

two guys, a cluster, and an outsider !!

2004-02-25T05:00:00.000-06:00

It HAS to happen. murphy's law simply cannot go wrong ... just when i seem fresh and ready for a good long session of serious work, something has to happen ...

perhaps the systems will be down ... perhaps the network wont authenticate my logon ... perhaps they'll declare a state mourning because the governor's dog got killed .. perhaps the cahaba river will decide to disregard that 74 year 'high water mark' record ... perhaps ill lose my cardkey to the building .. perhaps itll burn down ... perhaps just my lab will ... or maybe ill lose my shoes ... i could lose my way ... we might get a sandstorm from across the atlantic .. how 'bout armageddon ? .. or they might decide to shift my lab overnight and not tell me where they moved ... we could be attacked by australian aborigines ? ... or attacked by locusts ... space-time might warp to send me and the cluster into mutually exclusive quantum states ... med school might decide engineering was not needed. .. i could unknowingly become the guinea pig for a teleportation test ... might land up in siberia .. with an abacus .. or i might be given log tables and unlimited supply of pen and paper ... howbt that ? eh, sure, howbt that ? ...

but im sure the cluster's clogged now because the janitor's running a 'loo flush' fluid simulation, so that he can find out how there's a pool of water in the far corner every day ...

a frustrated Ram.

Disclaimer: The above text was intended solely as a means of venting steam , and was not for any other purpose. Any seemingly degrading references to any body/thing was unintentional and is not to be construed as the words might indicate.

now it is ... now it isnt !!

2004-02-22T04:18:00.000-06:00

In the course of my usual 'dialogue' with the google servers (its turned into one of the most intimate relationships ive ever had ;) ..jus kidding),i suddenly tried querying it with words and terms from this blog o' mine. (egosurfing at its worst ?!)

and amongst the usual concoction that it churns up, what should i find ..?!! a Googlewhack !!... and on my page !! this really had my adrenalin going ...

not being able to contain myself ... i shot off a mail to a close undergrad friend, who had first introduced me to the phenomenon and its ramifications. Then i decided that this was worth that 'long-pending-blog-entry' ... but as i started typing, i did not want to get ensnared in that classic Googletrap (another whack ? no.. as i discover immediately)..

here, id like to draw comparisons with a very ticklish effect in quantum mechanics ... uncertainty (what else ?) .. it states that u canNOT reduce the uncertainty in the position AND momentum of a particle simultaneously, as 'THE VERY ACT OF MEASURING MORE ACCURATELY DISTURBS THE SYSTEM' ..
at least thats the popularly held view. for more info lemme guide u to a handy reference ..

Wikipedia

Coming back to my concern ... it dawned on me that a la quantum mechanics ... the very act of proclaiming my googlewhack, would render it 'not one anymore' !! And hence, i leave it to you to figure out what the whack in this blog is ... ;)

Signing off with a request, please dont be a sadist and use the same word elsewhere .. though i dont have any copyrights. he he. .

Ram

PS: I just hope that the all-seeing algorithm doesnt index email messages sent across a coupla servers !

A new blog is born

2004-02-20T04:28:00.000-06:00

Just a beginning .... still deciding wether to use this as a piclog (plog ??) or a normal text based one. Shall start posting once a decision is reached. Dont expect a flurry of posts though. Im a very lethargic writer. ... laziness is a built in damping factor, that introduces a diffusion term in the equations of state that describe my behaviour.

In the mean, lemme fill the hiatus between this post and the next, by linking you ppl to my other blog (how many is this lunatic gonna have ? ... u ask)

Click ya way to my blog

until then,
Ram

Note: This post is dated based on the day when this blog was actually created. I then used it as a placeholder to ensure that I had a nook for myself on Blogger. Hence, technically, this post was the first post on this blog and the ones earlier than this are migrants from my first blog on Lycos.

bride hunting ?

2004-02-06T20:24:00.000-06:00

the following are the contents of a coupla mails between me and Bob (the grid god) ... all, over a coupla pics that i should have sent to him a week earlier than i actually did ... found it ticklish ... thats why they found their way here ,,,

Hi bob,

I am so sorry for the delay in sending the pics. I do hope I am forgiven , for procrastination runs in my blood …

I also sincerely hope that the delay has in no way interfered, with the bride-search process you have initiated back in India. I know that a delay of a week means that u have been set back in the filtration process by about 200 girls …

Ram

and his reply ....

Hi Ram,

I am greatly indebted to you for this favor. Regarding the filtration and distillation --yeah my folks do say that I would have lost a couple of million in dowry for the delay. But I now feel that I will be greatly compensated for that because of these pics. Thank you for the great pics.

Bob (Hari)

ps : ET India reports that dowry market is expected to grow up by 5% this year over the last fiscal year 2002-03.This has been due to a sharp fall in prices for digital cameras and the corresponding digital technology improvement during this period. Sadly none of the reasons cited can be attributed to rise in income levels or to the growing popularity of axe -deodorant. Any how If you are wondering why this special note is longer than the mail itself than most probably you haven’t heard Webster’s warning that” things which should have been bigger actually appear smaller in mail”. A corollary to this statement can be proved easily here.

wadoinameit

2004-01-22T14:34:00.000-06:00

It was a near perfect dive. A few deep breaths to calm the body and mind. The stepping up to the edge. The concentration that blurred the corporal world, but brought into sharp focus, the mental image of one's poise - slowly coiling up like a cobra ready to strike. The suddenness, yet fluidity of the jump. Doubling over, knees folding, head tucked in, arms wrapped around, quick somersaults, a beautiful loop .. then unspringing back back into a straight position, legs straight, hips straightening, arms stretched out, now a swift arrow about to slice through a watery armour.

All that was remaining was the clean entry into the fluid medium waiting below. And then ... THUD.
It ended with a sickening splat on the on the scorching, hot sand.

A mirage ...

Note: This entry started out with totally different intentions. And of course, ended up as, i dunno what. Please bear with what I consider a bad entry.

stop press

2003-12-28T13:22:00.000-06:00

It is moments like these that pain me the most, when i discover how far removed i am from my homeland. i discovered just today an occurring of almost 2 months ago ,,, a cause for deep sorrow. semmangudi srinivasa iyer has passed away ,,, despite me being, a not above average listener and enthusiast, the news came as a blow ... he was the grand old man, the 'pitamaha' of carnatic music. the great man has left a void that i am sure is going to be difficult to fill. i would just like to redirect readers to these links as i am sure they have done a greater justice to him than i can hope of doing.

inching towards the top

2003-12-16T20:23:00.000-06:00

oh so close, but yet so far.
greater than before, but lesser still.
as yet prince, but king i shall be.

I just wanted to mark the date, google put me on the top spot. Well almost. 1 away from the top can be frustrating. bet hillary didnt have to wait so long for the final step !! but it was a great feeling to see ur page listed there up on the front with the rest... Above the rest ;)

waiting for THE day.

The Last Teardrop

2003-11-26T00:56:00.000-06:00

The dying rays of the sun zoomed into and out of focus as he stood there watching them paint the sky into an astral battlefield. But he was unseeing. Returning birds called to their near and dear. But he was unhearing. The wind carried to him smells of the sea. But he was unsmelling. The fire was lit atop the lighthouse. The waves continued lapping gently at the shore. Suggestive of the turmoil underneath.

....

The bridge swayed slightly with the wind. The sky was getting darker. "You oughta go home, shir". It was the gate keeper at the bridge, wrapped in a large shawl and wheeling his cycle home. "You've been standing too long in the wind. The wind from the sea at this time of the night does not bring good with it." He turned his head, and smiled. Then he turned back to his object of attention, the bleak sky. The keeper walked off, shaking his head. 'Bhalayee ka zamana hi nahi hai...'

....

The slow sweeps of the lighthouse beam were the only source of light. He had been standing there all day. His attention fixed on the far horizon. At least, seemingly.. for if you had looked closer, you would have noticed glazed eyes and a rigid stare. Suggestive of the turmoil within...

That lovely face... those undescribable eyes...
a tear rolled down his face and fell ... a drop into the ocean.

Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this entry are fictitious and bear no resemblance whatsoever to any person dead or alive. Barring the exception of the gate-keeper whose traits and speech have been modeled on my roomie, Kuldeep Pandey.

Found 6 billion matches for 'ego' ...

2003-11-24T01:06:00.000-06:00

I recently discovered that the google spyders had woven me into the web, and that a certain permutation of words listed my page on google.

After the mildly euphoric moments had passed, I decided to play down the event, so I would walk on the ground.

But seriously, I was wondering what this 'mother of all search engines' has turned us personal-web-page-designers into? Egoists? ... Egotists? ... Egomaniacs? ...

This craving to see one's name appear as the result of an almost oracular search algorithm running on some remote server doesnt seem very justified. But anyway, I felt I had to thank Larry Page and Sergey Brin for a means wherein 'commoners' like me could aspire for 'virtual fame'. Pun intended

Monograph on Monotheism

2003-11-06T20:13:00.000-06:00

Funny how people can get so zealous about their religion. And how they can believe in a superior God guiding them, who is different from a God that somebody else might believe in.

Funny ... very funny.

Especially when one considers that we all live on one planet. How can there be two gods when there is only one creation ? One of them couldnt have played dummy (then he/she/it wouldnt be God at all !!). Nor could one God have created the air you breathe while another, the air I do. We'd live in a disjointed world then - one without balance. But we dont. Everywhere we look, we see harmony and balance in nature.

But why do we have so many conflicts amongst us? Why the disharmony within. Why not let the peace without, percolate within ??

Let the debate cease ...

Fractal Universe

2003-11-02T08:08:00.000-06:00

Let there be light .. let there be sound...
A new beginning.

The crimson rays that define the horizon .. waking birds that find reason to rejoice...
Another new day dawns.

Surprising, how uncannily similar creation looks on vastly different scales. Proof for the inflationary model of the universe, i suppose.

Power without foresight ??

2003-10-20T22:53:00.000-05:00

I read a technical journal today that talked about the latest developments in organ implants. And it came as a jolt to me that researchers had already succesfully implanted an artificial retina. The CCD chip ( thats effectively a digicam) had worked well for the past 18 months. Well pretty much a rude awakening, as to how rapidly the gap between fact and fiction is shrinking.

Today fiction, tomorrow fact.

In another place, I happened to read an article about how researchers at another university had succesfully controlled a robotic device using just neuro-electrical signals (read thoughts, through wires attached to the head.

I wonder if i just happened to be the (un)lucky guy who happened to read both articles in the same short time gap. There must be more people out there who are thinking the same things I am. At this pace, it is VERY likely that my grand kid may go to school with a half machine.

Ok, i do concede the immense possibliities of such technology coming to the aid of the injured or incapable. But isnt such powerful technology taking us closer and closer to playing a God without foresight. Really the pace at which know-how is exploding is frightening. A scientific revolution is heartening. But i have only heard that a revolution once in a while is for good. Not a half a dozen revolutions crammed within the space of a century.

Not wanting to sound like a pessimistic _______, let me stop here. Food for thought was all I aimed at.

Lemme sign off

A song for everyone ...

2003-10-19T23:07:00.000-05:00

Today I had been over for dinner to a friend's place. Someone who hails from a very different background and culture. And as we were talking over a game of cards, we started discussing the music of our lands.

It struck me as very funny, but it was only as i tried explaining what I wanted to, that I realised how difficult it is to convey something to someone who has no idea of what it is.

Another line of thought was how the music we heard, was so deeply influenced by the lives we lived. Or is it vice-versa. A likely thesis title for those budding pshychoanalysts ? .. sociologists ?? .. whoever

Booting up...

2003-10-17T16:26:00.000-05:00

Well, I just dunno whats got into me. I used to despise blogs of any kind .. and here I am, creating my own blog!! Well, I am just hoping this will be a better way for all the people who know me, and who want to glimpse at my lifestyle and thought processes to keep in touch with whats up.

I dont plan to post daily or even weekly, for that matter. This is just going to be a record of those erratic bursts of the wish to express something.

I just presume that like all this modern art stuff, Ill end up creating something, that someone out there will be able to interpret sensibly and enjoy.

So here's to my log